smile like you mean it

A lot of things have made me smile lately. Fairies. Harry Potter. Writing a paper about heart break and socks. Indie music. Aladdin. Sparkles. Hope for a person. Courage for me. It’s strange really. I can’t think of any specific reason to smile. I’m single. College is blah. I have no money. I’m lonely. And yet I am sitting here smiling. Maybe it’s the belief that something is about to change. Maybe it’s the hope of a fresh start. Or maybe I’m living in a fantasy world. A world where the handsome prince falls in love with the quiet lonely princess. And of course in this fairy tale the princess has enough money to buy all the beautiful gowns. Also in this world the prince looks a lot like Taylor Lautner. Unfortunately thats not real life. The Prince doesn’t look like Taylor Lautner, and nobody notices the quiet lonely girl. Oh the quiet lonely girl. That never used to be me. I’m a strong, independent almost woman. It’s not that I wanted to be single and independent for life and never get married, but I recently realized that maybe I might actually need somebody. Like really need them. I’m not quite as strong as I thought. I’m not quite as independent as I like to believe myself to be. Part of me is the quiet lonely girl. I’ve never admitted it before, but I’m really not this brick wall of stoicism and independence. I’m vulnerable and desperate for love. So what is the reason I am smiling? Because I’m not letting the quiet lonely girl define me. I’m letting the beautiful warrior princess define me. I may not literally be a princess and life may not be Fairies and princes and unicorns (unfortunately), but my life is a story. A wonderful story. The story of an almost woman that discovered she loved to write and sing and paint and dance. She is confident and happy even if she is alone. It’s not always easy but thats ok. She is learning what her life is all about. It’s not about being single or having tons of friends. It’s about love in all forms and it’s about smiling.

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