Fear and Dear

Written May 26, 2011
A dark brown furry back stuck up from the grass. Clearly not a sheep, and much too small to be a horse. ‘It’s a wolf,’ I thought, immediately panicked. I laughed at myself. This is England where the most dangerous thing (besides their driving) is a stinging nettle, which is not dangerous at all. I watched the mystery creature for a long time and discovered it was some kind of deer/kangaroo combination. I lied back down on my blanket, exhilarated from my ‘wild animal’ sighting. Looking across the valley I could see where the mountains from the Lake District began. On my left was the Irish Sea. It suddenly struck me in a way it hadn’t before that this was the safest and most at peace that I had ever felt. Then it hit me that I only had 16 days left in this beautifully calm and safe place. I wouldn’t say that I want to stay here forever. In fact I will be ready for a new adventure by the time June 10 rolls around. I just always want to be able to access this safety. When am I ever going to have a time in my life that I am this free to just exist and be? The only thing I have to think about is how wonderfully warm Jesus’ arms feel. I’m afraid I will get absorbed in doing and forget how to be. I’m afraid I’ll get lonely. I’m (allegedly) going to Spain next month to teach English. Will Jesus be with me there? What about Lilburn, Georgia? And as the wind blows by me I’m suddenly sure that he will be.

One thought on “Fear and Dear

  1. Pingback: Oh What A Day « Jars

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