2014

I don’t know what I did with my list of New Year’s resolutions for 2014. Probably it’s somewhere tucked away in my bedroom at my parents’ house. I know I made one, because I always make one. I’m addicted to lists and checking things off of lists. But I’m also addicted to chaos and unpredictability so a lot of things don’t get done and other things happen that were never planned.

I always have some of the same things written on my list every year. Run a half marathon. Read all the books on my bookshelf. Fall in love with something/someone/someplace.

And I never seem to get around to doing them.

This year has been the most uncertain year I have ever lived. Nothing got done, but everything happened. My steps were shaky and the ground was unsteady as I picked up and moved across the world, then went back and did it all again. I had a quiet voice that didn’t speak up enough and a fickle heart that refused to fall in love in the right way.

In 2014 I was a mess, but you know what, in 2013 I was a mess too. Why is it that at the start of every new year, we think that this will be the year we’ll suddenly find our way? I don’t think I accomplished any of the things on my list for 2014. I did not become a runner. I didn’t read all of the books in my bookcase. And I did not fall in love in the way that I meant it when I wrote it down a year ago.

However, a year has gone by and I am different, but also the same. I write less, but dance more. I eat too much chocolate, and I walk everywhere. I don’t shower enough and I make too many lists. I talk too much or not at all. This year I asked more questions. I sought peace and freedom. I stood up for myself once (I should do that more). In 2014 I didn’t fall in love, I found it. Again and again. Through every person and place that crammed itself into my heart. This year, like every year, was the year I changed and also didn’t.

I’m a little nervous to make resolutions for 2015, but I probably still will because how else will I keep track of all the things I don’t do?

But here’s a little flash back of some of the things I did do in 2014.

Moved to Beirut, Lebanon

1922144_10202072513350794_1340592218_nRead (and loved) The Road by Cormac Mccarthy

Traveled to Jordan, Macedonia, Albania, Turkey, California, and London

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Binge watched Gilmore Girls, Parks and Rec, and Sherlock on Netflix.

Ripped my favorite pair of pants and my friend got it on video.

Got matching tattoos with my sister

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Loved every second with my family and friends

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Watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s for the first time. Did not get the hype.

Ate more crepes than I want to admit.

Moved to Suhareke, Kosovo (and LOVE IT here)

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Stopped keeping track of the time as it passed.

 

Happy New Year!

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